The day everything changed
The past two days have been the worst of my life. I’ve never felt so much pain and sadness all at once, as my world flipped upside down. Wednesday night (7/13/23) in Whitefish, MT my water prematurely broke. Baby A’s sac had ruptured. I immediately went to the hospital to find answers. After a couple of hours, they transferred me to Kalispell by ambulance to receive specialized care. They performed an ultrasound, and the babies were healthy, kicking, and had strong heartbeats. Baby girl had little to no amniotic fluid surrounding her, which protects her from infection and helps develop vital organs like her lungs…
On Thursday morning I finally spoke with the specialist. Things were not looking well. He shared the life-threatening and devastating outcomes we were facing.
I would most likely go into labor within the next 48 hours, losing one or both babies.
If I decided to continue forward and did not go into labor, I face a high chance of getting an infection…putting both babies and myself at risk.
If I did not contract an infection and continue forward without going into labor, even if I made it to the viable gestation of 23 weeks (which is a month away) we faced a high probability of serious health conditions for both babies.
Every scenario that was shared with us, was terrible. We felt like we had no hope as the doctor shared the very slim statistics of ever birthing two (or even one) healthy babies. He recommended terminating the pregnancy.
After feeling every emotion and crying every tear, we decided we weren’t going to give up on our babies. We would do everything in our power to keep them inside and growing to be strong enough to survive in the outside world. Even if our worst nightmare were to come true, we would feel no regrets knowing we did everything in our power to bring our babies home.
There is a long and scary road ahead of us with a long list of uncertainties, but I know Codey and I are up for the challenge. We will get through this, and we will be strong for our babies. Our best-case scenario is to be stable enough to come home to Minnesota on Tuesday and see a specialist at our doctor's on Wednesday morning. From there we will come up with an expectant management plan to stay pregnant as long as possible. We are optimistic and feel in our hearts that we will get through this.
While I’m optimistic that I can and will carry these babies to viability, and a healthy birth, I also am grieving the smooth, joyful pregnancy and birth plan I imagined. It’s a long road ahead. 2+ months on bed rest, taking it day by day to keep the babies in as long as possible…and most likely a long NICU stay for the babies. It’s not going to be easy. It’s going to be really freaking hard. But I know how strong Codey and I are, and how tough these babies are. I know we’re going to make it through this. I can feel it. I’m ready to fight for my family and for our baby boy and girl.
Sadie
